For much of my life, I carried an invisible checklist. It included all the markers of success that I thought I “should” achieve: the education, the career milestones, the polished image, the carefully balanced personal life. Like many women, I was raised in a culture that praises doing it all and doing it flawlessly. Yet, over time, I realized that the pursuit of this checklist wasn’t creating joy, it was quietly draining me.

The Weight of Expectations

Women often find themselves measured by impossible standards, both in and outside of the workplace. According to a Deloitte Women @ Work report, 53% of women say they experience more pressure to look “put together” at work compared to men, and 51% report that they feel they need to work harder than male colleagues to prove themselves. This constant pressure creates an environment where success feels conditional, dependent on always doing more.

The truth is, these expectations don’t just live in society. We internalize them. We convince ourselves that we aren’t enough unless we check every box. And in the process, we forget to ask: Whose checklist am I actually following?

Letting Go of Performance, Choosing Alignment

The moment I began releasing the checklist, my relationship with my work and life changed. It wasn’t about lowering standards or giving up ambition. It was about shifting focus from external validation to internal alignment.

Research supports that women thrive when they can live authentically. A Gallup study found that employees who feel connected to their values are 59% less likely to experience burnout. When women prioritize alignment: choosing projects, roles, and even personal commitments that reflect what matters to them, they build resilience, creativity, and confidence that no checklist can provide.

For me, that meant asking hard questions: What truly energizes me? What kind of impact do I want to make? What does success look like on my terms? The answers were not always what I expected, but they brought me clarity.

The Cost of Perfectionism

Perfectionism comes with a high price. A global survey by McKinsey found that women are more likely than men to report feeling burned out , 42% compared to 35%. One reason is the “always-on” expectation that women juggle both professional and personal perfection simultaneously.

And yet, research from the Harvard Business Review shows that perfectionism doesn’t actually correlate with higher performance. Instead, it leads to increased stress, lower well-being, and in many cases, less willingness to take risks.

When I read that, it struck me: we are sacrificing our health, creativity, and joy for an illusion of perfection that doesn’t even make us more effective.

The Freedom of Realignment

Letting go of the checklist isn’t about abandoning ambition, it’s about redefining it. When women align their goals with their values, they not only create healthier lives but also contribute more authentically in the workplace. A Catalyst study showed that companies with more women in leadership roles report 34% higher returns to shareholders compared to those without. That impact doesn’t come from women playing by someone else’s rules, but from leading with clarity, courage, and alignment.

For me, freedom came in small, practical shifts. Saying no to opportunities that didn’t resonate, even if they looked impressive on paper. Giving myself permission to prioritize rest without guilt. Choosing connection and meaning over appearances.

A Collective Shift

I believe the next wave of progress for women isn’t about adding more to the checklist, but tearing it up altogether. It’s about creating spaces: in workplaces, communities, and within ourselves where alignment takes precedence over performance. Where women don’t have to prove their worth through perfection, but can live and lead from their values.

And the beauty is, when one woman lets go of the checklist, she makes it easier for others to do the same.

What Letting Go Really Gives Us

Perfection will never be attainable, but alignment is always available. The pressure to perform will keep knocking at our doors, but we get to decide if we’ll answer. When women choose alignment over performance, they gain freedom, and in that freedom, they create lives and careers that feel real, impactful, and deeply fulfilling.