For much of my career, I searched for a space where women could bring their full selves to the table. A place where ambition didn’t mean sacrificing authenticity, and where vulnerability wasn’t seen as weakness but as courage. The truth is, I couldn’t find it. So, I began to imagine what it might look like to build that kind of space myself.

The Silent Struggle of Fitting In

Early in my career, I noticed an unspoken expectation: success often seemed to mean conforming. Whether it was adopting a certain communication style, toning down emotional intelligence, or working twice as hard to prove myself, the message was clear—be less of yourself to be more “professional.”

This experience isn’t unique. Research from Catalyst Canada highlights that 52% of women report feeling pressure to conform to masculine leadership norms. Across North America, 43% of women leaders say they are burned out, compared to only 31% of men. These numbers are more than statistics; they represent real stories of women who are tired of dimming parts of themselves just to succeed.

Why Representation Isn’t the Whole Story

Representation matters. Seeing women in leadership roles opens doors for those coming behind us. Yet, representation alone doesn’t ensure that women feel safe to bring their authentic selves into the workplace.

Take this figure from McKinsey’s Women in the Workplace report: 1 in 3 women say they’ve had their judgment questioned in their area of expertise, compared to just 1 in 5 men. For women of color, those odds are even higher. It’s not just about being in the room; it’s about being heard, respected, and valued.

The Turning Point

At one point, I had to ask myself: what am I really chasing? Was it the title, the accolades, or the approval of others? Or was it the chance to live in alignment with my values?

The turning point for me was realizing that clarity doesn’t come from constantly trying to measure up. It comes from asking, What matters most to me, and how can I live that out every day? That shift, from proving myself to being myself, changed everything.

Creating What I Needed

I couldn’t find spaces where women were encouraged to explore these questions openly and without judgment. So, I began to build them. These weren’t about networking for the sake of business cards or climbing another rung on the ladder. They were about genuine connection, courageous conversations, and permission to step into values-based living.

Because here’s the truth: when women support women, everyone benefits. Catalyst research shows that organizations with more women in leadership are 25% more likely to have above-average profitability. But beyond the bottom line, creating environments where women can thrive contributes to healthier teams, more innovative thinking, and sustainable growth.

Moving Toward Wholeness

Living fully as ourselves takes practice. It means redefining strength, not as being invulnerable, but as being willing to show up honestly. It means redefining balance, not as juggling everything perfectly, but as aligning our time and energy with what matters most.

A Deloitte survey found that 70% of working women believe their employer’s commitment to supporting gender equity is either “tokenistic” or “inconsistent.” That tells me we still have work to do. And it starts with each of us asking: How do I create spaces—whether in my workplace, community, or personal relationships—where others can feel fully seen and valued?

What I’ve Learned

If there’s one thing this journey has taught me, it’s that we don’t need to wait for permission to live authentically. We can choose to create what we need, for ourselves and for each other.

For me, that has meant carving out room for women to talk about real challenges without fear of judgment. It has meant honoring the wisdom in our lived experiences as much as the skills on our résumés. And most of all, it has meant choosing to lead with clarity and compassion instead of comparison.

A Collective Step Forward

The spaces I’ve been working on are not just for me. They are for every woman who has ever felt like she had to shrink to fit. They are for every leader who has been told to be more like someone else, rather than being celebrated for who she is.

As women, when we build these spaces together, we not only transform our own lives, but we also reshape workplaces, communities, and futures.

Because living fully ourselves is not just a personal act. It’s a collective one.